How to Support Someone with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria: Fun and Effective Strategies
What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, first introduced by Dr. Dodson, has been renamed Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) to align with terms used in scientific research and the DSM-5-TR (American Psychiatric Association, 2022). RSD occurs when someone anticipates social rejection, either by worrying about being rejected or by criticizing themselves for not meeting expectations, which leads to feelings of distress (Smith et al., 2023). Until recently, discussions about rejection sensitivity typically related it to a type of depression that wasn't officially recognized. However, in 2019, new guidelines expanded the understanding of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in adults, particularly highlighting the importance of emotional regulation as a key part of the diagnosis (Brown, 2019).Women and girls with ADHD and autism often mask their symptoms due to societal pressures to be sociable and compliant, which can lead to these traits being overlooked (Johnson & Lee, 2021). Research indicates that societal expectations may play a role in the higher rates of RSD among women with ADHD or autism (Anderson & Chen, 2022). Other sources note that many neurodiverse individuals experience RSD because their brains react differently to rejection and criticism, resulting in stronger emotional responses (Taylor et al., 2020).
My Personal Struggle
So, picture this: I’m at a team meeting, and everything is going smoothly. I’m feeling pretty confident as we discuss our latest project. Then, I make a comment—something that seemed clever at the time but, in hindsight, felt a bit off. Suddenly, I notice a couple of my colleagues exchange glances, and my heart drops. “Did I just say something dumb? What if they think I’m not competent? Do they even like me anymore?”
From that moment on, my brain goes into overdrive. I can’t focus on the rest of the meeting. Instead, I replay my comment over and over like it’s on a loop, analyzing every facial expression in the room. I start imagining all the ways they might be talking about me behind my back. It feels like I’ve stepped onto a stage and bombed the performance in front of a tough crowd.
Many of us with RSD experience that sharp sting of perceived rejection, whether it’s a fleeting glance or a pause in conversation. It’s easy to assume the worst. But don’t worry—I’ve found some strategies that have helped me cope, and I’d love to share them with you!
How I Cope with RSD (and You Can Too!)
1. Reality Check: When I catch myself spiraling, I remind myself that one comment doesn’t define my worth or competence. I often ask myself, “Did anyone actually express disapproval?” More often than not, the answer is no!
2. Seek Feedback: If I’m really concerned, I’ll reach out to a trusted colleague for feedback. Although it can be nerve-wracking, I usually find out that my worries were unfounded, and they appreciate my input!
3. Practice Self-Compassion: I try to treat myself like I would a friend. If a co-worker shared that they felt embarrassed for something they said, I wouldn’t think any less of them. Reminding myself of this helps ease the sting of self-judgment.
4. Focus on the Positive: I make a habit of noting things I did well during the week. Celebrating small wins helps shift my mindset from fear of rejection to recognition of my contributions.
5. Deep Breaths: When anxiety rises, I take a few deep breaths. It sounds simple, but grounding myself physically helps me regain control over my racing thoughts.
Fun and effective strategies to support others affected by RSD
1. Open Communication: Create a safe space for your friend to express their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to share their fears and insecurities without judgment. Sometimes, just talking it out can help them feel lighter!
2. Validate Their Feelings: Remind them that their feelings are valid, even if they seem intense. Phrases like “I understand why you feel this way” can go a long way in providing comfort.
3. Celebrate Small Wins: Encourage them by celebrating achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and help counteract those looming feelings of rejection.
4. Mindfulness and Coping Techniques: Introduce them to mindfulness practices like meditation or deep breathing exercises. These can be effective tools for managing anxiety and emotional overwhelm.
5. Find Humor Together: Laughter is a powerful medicine! Share humorous stories or watch comedies to lighten the mood and create positive associations.
6. Educate Yourself: Learn about RSD and its effects. Knowledge is power! Understanding what your loved one is experiencing can help you provide better support.
7. Encourage Professional Help: If feelings of RSD are overwhelming, encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapy can offer valuable coping strategies and emotional support.
Conclusion
Remember, we’re all human, and everyone makes mistakes or says the wrong thing sometimes. By embracing our imperfections and being kind to ourselves, we can navigate the tricky waters of RSD with a little more ease. If you or someone you know is struggling with these feelings and needs more personalized guidance, I invite you to book a free consultation with me.
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References
American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed., Text Revision, American Psychiatric Publishing, 2022, https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787.
Chapman, R. 2023. “Neurodiversity and the Concept of Pathology.” Paper Presented at It Takes All Kind of Minds (ITAKOM) Conference, Edinburgh, March 13-14. Craddock, E. 2020. Living against Austerity: A Feminist Investigation of Doing Activism and Being Activist. Bristol: Bristol University Press.
Craddock, E. (2024). Raising the voices of AuDHD women and girls: exploring the co-occurring conditions of autism and ADHD. Disability & Society, 39(8), 2161–2165. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2023.2299342
Dodson, W. W., Modestino, E. J., Ceritoğlu, H. T., & Zayed, B. (2024). Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Case Series. Neurology, 7, 23-30.
Gowen, E., R. Taylor, T. Bleazard, A. Greenstein, P. Baimbridge, and D. Poole. 2019. “Guidelines for Conducting Research with the Autistic Community.” Autism Policy and Practice 2 (1), 29–45.
Müller, V., Mellor, D., & Pikó, B. F. (2024). Associations Between ADHD Symptoms and Rejection Sensitivity in College Students: Exploring a Path Model With Indicators of Mental Well-Being. Learning Disabilities Research & Practice, 09388982241271511. https://doi.org/10.1177/09388982241271511
Unmasking My Autism. 2023. British Broadcasting Channel
